They mock me !

It is spring and everything itches...well, everything on me at least. So a few days ago I find a handy solution to all this and the Mom Shepherd almost expires with amusement....I tell you ......no respect.

Buddy is standing, looking spooky as usual, but he doe seem to have calmed down quite a bit living with us instead of Butthead. With Butthead you have to watch your back all the time.....anyway, I digress. Buddy with his half curl of horn is standing there chewing his cud and I think "that pointy horn tip looks like a solution to me !" I amble up (Becca says I roll up) and say "stand real still, there, Bud" and rub my ear on his left horn tip. That feels soooo good that I get him to stand there while I get most of the right side of my head scratched. Then I hear the Mom Shepherd having hysterics on the back deck watching me. I thought it was rather clever of me, but she thinks it is very funny. She should be carrying 14 lb of greasy itchy fleece around in the spring sun.

I guess she has noticed my discomfort, however. The barn got straigthened up today, the temporary plywood floor for shearing was dragged out and I think this itchy stuff is coming off soon. I wonder if that is what she is referring to as a "goat rope". I DO NOT see any smelly old goats around here.

Grapenuts

Not that food is important to me - well, OK - in a world of eat and nap, food is crucial. So I hear the Shepherds talking about no more hay. NO MORE HAY ???? Becca says, put your head between your front legs, Benny, and breathe deeply. My life flashed before my eyes - the threat of starvation when they took my Mom to another pasture (and stuck me with Becca and the other howling lambs), the day the feeder ran out of hay for 2 hours.....

What they meant was that the valley is pretty much out of hay fit for sheep this spring. And the backup is alfalfa pellets. Why do they torture me like this ? I LOVE alfalfa pellets. Becca says of course you do, Chunko - that means your entire meal is in a pan in front of you and you don't have to walk. Whatever.....

So the pellets show up twice a day, in 4 pans for 7 sheep and no one seems to get into my pan. Well, occasionally the twins butt in, and I just put a shoulder into them and they go eat with their Mom. Then there is the fiber question...what if my delicate constitution needs roughage ? Becca again - there is straw all over the place - the rest of us are munching straw for fiber. She is such a know it all.....but the straw seems to work just fine. I HATE these life transitions. I know I know - the next one is green grass - I can probably ease into that even thought it requires me to walk for it.

So the shepherd tells me that I am once again a very special sheep. It seems that my clean ivory fleece is so springy that the processing mill can't spin it. I KNEW my wool was for very discerning users. The Mom Shepherd says "yeah, Benny - very discerning - and of limited use if I have to sell it all to hand spinners." Don't hand spinners slowly feel and appreciate fine wool ? Aren't I a very unique sheep ????

I heard the Big Guy Shepherd refer to the pellets as sheep grapenuts....wonder what that is about...

Not very bright

That is what Becca says when I ask some questions, but it is not hard to argue that I am a genius compared to a couple of the girls.

Corrie the beautiful has a sweet loving disposition if you listen to the shepherds. Sweet Corrie. Check out the picture from last spring - It is entitled "weaning is easy if the lambs can't find me". Yup that's our girl.

It appears to be an hereditary trait because her daughter, Daphne the cute, is just as much of a brain trust as her Mother. She got her head caught in a fence 3 TIMES in 2 days last week. Same scenario each time, same results. She shoves narrow BFL head through fence hole to get at grass at the base of the tree the fence is protecting. Pulls back head, ears get stuck. Stands there and complains, Chief Bob ambles out, takes a look at her, sighs, and goes to stand staring at the house. One of the shepherds looks out and says, "Honey, I think Daphne has done it again." Big Guy Shepherd hustles out, speaks soothingly to trapped ditz, frees her, she gets loved up a little, fence gets straightened out. Wait 12 hours, repeat.

Now, if Becca is so damned smart, and since she is the Queen (Drama also) of the back flock, do you suppose she could explain to fleece head how to avoid getting trapped. Yes ? Do I see a volunteer ??

And they say I'm no Tesla....

Times they are a changin'

Now, I do not claim to know why this song is being sung in the barn, but being a VERY wise sheep, I asked Bob and Becca. They looked at each other and Becca said, "Benjamin, who is out here all the time these days ? Hauling hay, water and cleaning the stall ?" I am a very observant fellow and I said "the Big Guy ! " So then she tells me that the Big Guy is living here again instead of in something called airports. And that the Shepherd is very happy because she missed the Big Guy - well, and because she can't lift full bales or 40 lb. water buckets.

Huh - how does she know all this stuff ??? She says, "Benny - if there was a Maslow's hierarchy for sheep, you would be munching at the first level." Now I'm really confused, but my tummy is full because the Big Guy brought a full bale out to the feeder and he was humming something.

So I ask, "anything else I should know, smarty pants? " Becca says, "well, Grasshopper, today is the Feast of St. Brighid, and since we were sheep in Scotland a long time ago, it is an important day. She is patron of many human activities. " This is getting way beyond me now, so I delicately lie down (Becca says I crash to the earth) and start my nap. Becca rolls out the door (she is no lightweight herself) and goes out to bore the twins with her great knowledge.

Life is good; the Big Guy is home and my tummy is full and it is good to be a sheep with spectacular wool.

Scary things

One of my admirers has written asking about what to do with scary things. Unfortunately, she addressed the question to Buddy. Sigh - well, what Buddy does with scary things in his pasture is to lower his pointy little head and attack. The Shepherd and the Big Guy once had to rescue a pretty roughed up big black hen that Buddy has used as a soccer ball, on the theory that she was a danger.

So, as a much wiser sheep than Buddy, I - Benny, would say the first thing to do is to not imitate Buddy. Don't attack - many scary things go away (or just fly over the fence) of their own accord.

Secondly, eat. Many things look much better on a full tummy. Becca says that my world knows no fear evidently because my tummy is ALWAYS full. Rubbish. But fear of starving clearly makes everything look worse.

Third, nap. When you wake up, some of the scary things will be gone, or much smaller. If all else fails, walk up to them (or send Becca) and see what they are really close up.

I would elaborate on this topic, but the Big Guy, in his new Carharrts, has just appeared with a fresh bale of hay. Nothing scary about this !!

What IS that thing ??

The picture tells it all, folks. The Big Guy comes out on Jan 5th and tosses something big, green and scary over the fence into OUR space. Sure - it is dangerous - throw it to the sheep. We spot it immediately - well, after eating - and look it over for a long time. You can't be too careful - the people in the Big House don't have a clue.

After regarding it for sometime - note that Corrie the Muncher is in the front, and I am bravely defending the rear flank along with Bob - we thought it over as it began to rain and blow . Don't even get me started on the climate - its is winter and we are in Montana - rain ??? Then we went back into the barn to think it over for a day.

Becca, the brain trust, mulled it over for a bit and said - I think this happened last year, too. And we didn't die. So, she put her head down and stalked it and it didn't move. Next thing we know, she is eating it.

As we are gathered around this pretty pungent snack, someone says, I don't think we are supposed to eat this if we are pregnant. Becca says, talking with her mouth full, to get pregnant, you have to be cooped up with Butthead. Buddy panics. He spends 6 months out of the year at least with Butthead...companion wether they call him. Becca, he chokes - what if I am pregnant ?? Becca fixes him with her "that's the dumbest thing I've heard since the last time Benny spoke" look and says YOU ARE A GUY SHEEP ! You can't get pregnant.

Oh. Well, at least I knew that all along.

The shepherd say we need a patron saint, or at least SHE needs a patron saint. She is thinking about St. Panacea who was a shepherdess and beaten to death by her step mother with a spindle. I think it fits - clearly she has been hit on the head too many times by something.

Tomorrow - picking seed head out my my velvety soft muzzle - where do they get this hay, anyway ??

WiFi is back !

Benny here, at last. I don't know what my IT people are doing in the Big House, but it certainly wasn't getting me back online. We have a communication problem here, people !! I went to the fence and called (they say I bellow like a 600 lb. steer) and they come out, pet me, check the feeder and the water and the salt and then say "now, now Benny - everything is just fine" and go back in a open presents or watch football. Help !!! My WiFi connection is DOWN !!! And they think all I worry about is food....peasants - they are all peasants.

So, after 2 weeks, I have to clean the lamb poop out of my hooves before I dare get on the keyboard. Training them has been hopeless. The rules are - we all pee in the middle of the barn and poop outside, or if you must, where YOU sleep. Not where Benny sleeps. Hopeless - and then there is Becca, who seems to get down right weird about every 20 days or so. At least in the winter. She is such a know-it-all most of the time, but every once in a while, like a cycle, she gets very goofy. This week, she was fleeing the barn everytime the Big Guy comes out. What ?? He got new Carharrts for Christmas - this makes him a stranger ???

Becca - get a grip ! He is carrying FOOD !

The Big House people went away for 4 days and we had a nice sub. She poured pellets, checked water, crooned sounds sheep like to hear, fed Butthead and the girls. She hasn't quite got the "scratch Benny's chest first before all else" thing down yet, but she is trainable. Good thing, too, because we have seen very little of the shepherd since the Big Guy got home. What can she be doing that is more important than feeding and rubbing sheep, I ask ?

They say its a new year, and things will change. I guess the Big Guy is retiring ? Didn't he do that 4 years ago and did I see any improvement in my life ??? Maybe the new overalls mean he will live here now. He does seem to be a bit more relaxed, and I get my chest rubbed longer in the evening, so this could be an improvement. Heaven knows the management on the place could use some spiffying up....

Happy New Year - may your hay have more leaves than stems, may your orchards overflow with windfall for sheep, and may your lambs grow up with good manners !!

Benny