Scary things

One of my admirers has written asking about what to do with scary things. Unfortunately, she addressed the question to Buddy. Sigh - well, what Buddy does with scary things in his pasture is to lower his pointy little head and attack. The Shepherd and the Big Guy once had to rescue a pretty roughed up big black hen that Buddy has used as a soccer ball, on the theory that she was a danger.

So, as a much wiser sheep than Buddy, I - Benny, would say the first thing to do is to not imitate Buddy. Don't attack - many scary things go away (or just fly over the fence) of their own accord.

Secondly, eat. Many things look much better on a full tummy. Becca says that my world knows no fear evidently because my tummy is ALWAYS full. Rubbish. But fear of starving clearly makes everything look worse.

Third, nap. When you wake up, some of the scary things will be gone, or much smaller. If all else fails, walk up to them (or send Becca) and see what they are really close up.

I would elaborate on this topic, but the Big Guy, in his new Carharrts, has just appeared with a fresh bale of hay. Nothing scary about this !!

What IS that thing ??

The picture tells it all, folks. The Big Guy comes out on Jan 5th and tosses something big, green and scary over the fence into OUR space. Sure - it is dangerous - throw it to the sheep. We spot it immediately - well, after eating - and look it over for a long time. You can't be too careful - the people in the Big House don't have a clue.

After regarding it for sometime - note that Corrie the Muncher is in the front, and I am bravely defending the rear flank along with Bob - we thought it over as it began to rain and blow . Don't even get me started on the climate - its is winter and we are in Montana - rain ??? Then we went back into the barn to think it over for a day.

Becca, the brain trust, mulled it over for a bit and said - I think this happened last year, too. And we didn't die. So, she put her head down and stalked it and it didn't move. Next thing we know, she is eating it.

As we are gathered around this pretty pungent snack, someone says, I don't think we are supposed to eat this if we are pregnant. Becca says, talking with her mouth full, to get pregnant, you have to be cooped up with Butthead. Buddy panics. He spends 6 months out of the year at least with Butthead...companion wether they call him. Becca, he chokes - what if I am pregnant ?? Becca fixes him with her "that's the dumbest thing I've heard since the last time Benny spoke" look and says YOU ARE A GUY SHEEP ! You can't get pregnant.

Oh. Well, at least I knew that all along.

The shepherd say we need a patron saint, or at least SHE needs a patron saint. She is thinking about St. Panacea who was a shepherdess and beaten to death by her step mother with a spindle. I think it fits - clearly she has been hit on the head too many times by something.

Tomorrow - picking seed head out my my velvety soft muzzle - where do they get this hay, anyway ??

WiFi is back !

Benny here, at last. I don't know what my IT people are doing in the Big House, but it certainly wasn't getting me back online. We have a communication problem here, people !! I went to the fence and called (they say I bellow like a 600 lb. steer) and they come out, pet me, check the feeder and the water and the salt and then say "now, now Benny - everything is just fine" and go back in a open presents or watch football. Help !!! My WiFi connection is DOWN !!! And they think all I worry about is food....peasants - they are all peasants.

So, after 2 weeks, I have to clean the lamb poop out of my hooves before I dare get on the keyboard. Training them has been hopeless. The rules are - we all pee in the middle of the barn and poop outside, or if you must, where YOU sleep. Not where Benny sleeps. Hopeless - and then there is Becca, who seems to get down right weird about every 20 days or so. At least in the winter. She is such a know-it-all most of the time, but every once in a while, like a cycle, she gets very goofy. This week, she was fleeing the barn everytime the Big Guy comes out. What ?? He got new Carharrts for Christmas - this makes him a stranger ???

Becca - get a grip ! He is carrying FOOD !

The Big House people went away for 4 days and we had a nice sub. She poured pellets, checked water, crooned sounds sheep like to hear, fed Butthead and the girls. She hasn't quite got the "scratch Benny's chest first before all else" thing down yet, but she is trainable. Good thing, too, because we have seen very little of the shepherd since the Big Guy got home. What can she be doing that is more important than feeding and rubbing sheep, I ask ?

They say its a new year, and things will change. I guess the Big Guy is retiring ? Didn't he do that 4 years ago and did I see any improvement in my life ??? Maybe the new overalls mean he will live here now. He does seem to be a bit more relaxed, and I get my chest rubbed longer in the evening, so this could be an improvement. Heaven knows the management on the place could use some spiffying up....

Happy New Year - may your hay have more leaves than stems, may your orchards overflow with windfall for sheep, and may your lambs grow up with good manners !!

Benny

A thorny Question

One of my admirers has asked a question I have pondered for centuries. (what - you think this is the first time I've been here ? You think this wisdom comes in a single incarnation ? Foolish one....) The question is - which comes first ? Eating or the nap ?

Being a creature deeply in tune with nature, I have discerned that the day's cycle begins when you wake up . Therefore , you arise and eat, and then nap. Clearly eating becomes before the nap. Unless, of course, the feeder is so crowded with riff raff that you cannot fight your way through. Then you go back to sleep. But, this is against the laws of nature and can throw off one's digestion for days. Eat. Then Nap.

That settled, we move on to Raven aka Butthead and his responsibilities for the ewes. An amazing thing happened the other night. Freezing rain, high winds and Raven herded the girls in his charge into the ram shed and held them there for the night. Weeks ago, Butthead would have sprawled in the ram shed and made the girls sleep out in the rain. It is a huge jump of good sense in an otherwise primitive creature. Even Bob the lead genius let him know what a fine thing he had done. There is indeed hope for many of other of Godde's creatures if Raven finally gets it.

Furthermore, we heard the shepherd and the big guy muttering to each other that one of the big tall ewes has a blue streak on her back. That, for the uninitiated in the way of sheeps, means that short Raven, with blue dye on his chest, has successfully....ummmmm ...fullfilled his ramly duties. This boy may get to stay a ram a lot longer if the shepherd's genetics experiments work out. Whatever genetics is......

Public Notice: We need another bale in the feeder !!

I have admirers !!

Benny here, and I have a fan club ! One of my groupies asked for my advice - on a presentation on Durkheim ? My Dear Girl - can you eat a Durkheim ? If not, why are you occupying your head about it ?? Priorities, People ! Priorities !

The rodeo has slowed down in the front pasture, and I think it is because of poor conditioning on the part of Butthead. All he does is eat, sleep, get his back scratched and try to knock things over all year. Now he is presented with an opportunity to improve the genetics of the species and he isn't up to the task - he is tired chasing and sniffing ewes all day. Myself, I am disciplined to take 4-5 walks a day to keep my form. Becca says that the distance to the feeder and back isn't exactly a marathon. She is clearly hyperactive.

My advice to Butthead is "pace yourself, Brother !!" Get up 3 times a day and sniff everyone - if nothing has changed, there is no reason to get excited. Eat a bit to keep up your strength and go take a nap.

It is too foggy to take pictures with barn camera, so the shepherd has donated a picture of the view from the front porch of the big house just for ambiance sake. The view from the back pasture is focused on Butthead right now - not worth taking, I'd say.

Sheep Rodeo !

I was sooo proud of my fellow sheeps yesterday. The herders - well, the shepherd, the big guy and 2 friends - came out with the intent of moving sheep where THEY wanted them to go. Ha !! When sheeps put their collective mind to it, this can be a real circus. (See healthy girls to the left)

First, they tried to seperate Bevis and Butthead. Butthead will go anywhere that he gets his back scratched or he gets fed. Bevis will go many places where they don't want him to. So, into the fenced partition they thunder, where ideally one will go out the east gate and one out the west. Bevis did us proud - I didn't know he could move that fast since he looks like a barrel of Shetland wool on legs. And Butthead headed straight to the fence next to my department to sniff my girls. Meanwhile the herders managed to panic Bevis enough that he accidentally ran out the correct gate.

Of course, that puts him in with us where the idiot has to bang his horned little head on everyone elses like he hasn't ever seen or lived with us before. That went on for hours until he started in on the lambs. End of project. Bob the lead Genius isolated him on the fringes of the flock for the rest of the day and evening. Its funny - the lambs are a pain at feeding time, but something stirs even in my practical little heart when they are getting beat-up on.

Back to rodeo part 2: getting the three big ewes in with Butthead.

The big girls are running a round a pasture where they could pretty much out strip the Shepherd for hours, but they seem not be able to resist an open gate to somewhere they haven't been before. It took several false starts, but finally the big girls thunder through the gate and into .........yup, the garden ?? Well, that fence needing replacing anyway, right ?

And getting them out of the garden is a bit of a stretch because the garden gate - a homemade fence and 2x2 arrangement - got trashed by a drunken yearling deer a month ago, so it DOESN'T OPEN. It is really trashed now - but Shepherd didn't want to run the sheep back over the fence again, so finally out the gate hole and voila ! they went into the pasture they were theoretically headed for. Herders are breathing hard and Shepherd is muttering Thanks Be To Godde no one got killed.

Now the last piece of work is Butthead - he needs to get into the front pasture with the girls and he - after sniffing every body he could find and taking a swipe at the Big Guy, is ...eating. Can't be bothered. They wrestle him away from a flake of hay and push him through the gate and he looks around and sees - Girls !! He takes off, they run like heck, and the last ring of the circus is on. and on. and on. He gets close to one and you can see his eyes blink as he thinks "I've never seen a sheep this tall !! How in the world.......? "

He'll figure it out - rams always do.

The feeder is full !!!!

Which means the Big Guy is home ! Even I think he looks really handsome with an 80 lb bale on his shoulder....what a hunk !! Becca says "we all know that the hay is your type, not the big guy." Duh. Maybe we'll get the barn cleaned, too....it is warm enough for it to begin to smell like sheep. Bob the Genius mutters, Benny, you should live with billy goats and then you would appreciate sheep smell..." He is such a know it all.....

It sounds like, from listening to the shepherd, that we are going to get Bevis, aka Buddy the Shetland wether, in with us very soon. What is she thinking ??? There is barely room for 6 of us at the feeder, let alone 7 and even now I have to push the lambs around to get adequate nourishment. Then there is the personality of Bevis. He will have to ram his pointy little head against everyone else like he hasn't ever seen us before.

Two summers ago, The Shepherd decided to let the hens run loose for a while. Pretty soon, she yells for the Big Guy to come help. Bevis concluded that the big black hen is a terror threat and started using her as a soccer ball. Big Guy comes out and they stand in amazement. The hen is pushed into a little crevice of the wire fence and Bevis is standing back about 4 yd., front feet spread, head down, with black tail feathers sticking out of both sides of his mouth. Shepherd shakes her head, says something about never have a camera when you need one, and pries the terrified hen out of the fence. The hen was laying the next day, so evidently no damage, but that tells you all you need to know about Bevis.

Couldn't I have been born on a congenial estate in the East ???