Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Crone spotted !!

I was wondering if she still lives here - how long can one human have a fat hoof and be lame, anyway ?

Of course, she shows up when a sheep rodeo happens. Any time they get out big feeding pans and dump pellets in, you KNOW something nasty is going on. We put up a good fight and

Benny - you didn't see a thing - you had your head in a pan...

Becca, I know somebody put up a fight because I heard the Crone swear and grab her knee...

Your hearing is almost as sharp as your appetite, Big Guy..

ND they got away with one of the lambs anyway.

Well, that might be a bit dramatic - the animal communicator talked to us and told us that Ewan was going to a farm where the very old ram died and they needed a young guy. Wonder why they didn't take Raven ?

Benny - Raven had that operation last month ??

oh, yeah....that's right - he is supposed to protect us all now.

Sigh- he mostly protects us from the shepherds...

At any rate, the Crone was getting around pretty good, at least before two sheep tried to climb over her. I think we may be stuck with the Big Guy for awhile. But the hay is always here, the water buckets are full, Raven busted the salt feeder again...pretty normal winter, eh ?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Missing Shepherd !

The Crone is missing !! Although she doesn't really DO much around here, we think she manages the hay order. Becca says she saw her on the deck yesterday with one fat hoof and shiny sticks under each arm. So this is supposed to make me feel better about the impending famine ??

True, the Big Guy has been out breaking the ice on the buckets and rearranging the hay inside the stupid little fences that keep us from sorting through it properly, but what's with the Crone ?

Then there is the disappearing Butthead. Buddy came back a few weeks ago, and said the Shepherds loaded Butthead into a trailer with promises of GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS. That focused Dummy's attention so that they succeeded in loading him into the trailer and taking off. Never to be seen again, I suspect. Rams are so dumb - they leave hay and water and salt for the empty promise of ewes. Now I, being much brighter, and not driven by primitive instincts, am smart enough to stay close to home. Oh rats...Becca is reading over my shoulder again..

Benny, what do you call needing to know where all the food is - a sophisticated instinct ??

Well, it doesn't get me loaded into a trailer never to be seen again - probably hauled off at best to a place with very little food...

Benny, let me tell you about a guy named Maslow...

nd off she goes, talking about things that have NOTHING to do with where the bale will be placed IF they remember to order it.

Benny, here, reporting from the pastures of less-than-plenty.

And waddling out to the round bale, of course - Love, Becca

Monday, October 15, 2007

Wi Fi down

Well, it happened again..the shepherds leave town and the wireless goes down in the barn. I am CUT OFF FROM THE WORLD. At least they left a big round bale of good stuff down at the pasture next to the BDL (big dopey lab).

So they came back raving about Oregon Flock and Fiber Festival OFFF and finally fixed the wireless. Before I can get into my blog drafts, they disappear pulling a big rusty trailer and come back with...Bevis ! aka Buddy the Shetland wether who reintroduces himself in chracteristic fashion - knocking heads with anyone that will stand for it. This guy has the most primitive rituals.

Then we look around - where Bevis goes, Butthead goes. No Butthead. Fortunately then the animal communicator gets through to Bob and we all relax. Butthead is up north a ways with GIRLS ! His favorite past-time.

With Buddy back, the food situation is beginning to worry me again. Is no one else concerned that there are 14 sheep here and only 1.5 12oo lb bales in sight ? What if Raven comes home soon and he is hungry. Is no one paying attention ??

Benny, you are still rolling off to eat - have we ever gone hungry ?
Becca, you just don't aappreciate the seriousness of this situation...
Chunko, there is no situation...besides if you could hear over the rumbling of your rumen, you would know that some sheep are spending the winter somewhere else...
BECCA - where are they sending me ? - I'll die if I have to move.....
Butterball, Sophie and two black wethers are going to friend Robyn's and Fern the Giant Ewe is going to Amy's place at the foot of the mountains with Ewan the ram lamb. Breathe, Big Guy - you look pale.

Well, of COURSE I knew all that ....I am a very perceptive sheep and I listen very carefully. Over the rumble of my rumen, indeed....she can be so crass....

Now where have the shepherds gone - the friendly back-up Aunt Nora is checking water buckets again. They really ought to stay home - winter is coming and I'm hungry.


Friday, September 7, 2007

Clean Air

Oh, it is fall and we can breathe !! The smoke blew away, along with some hay, dust, 2 lawn chairs - well, you get the picture. But it is cool, the sun feels good and the air is clean. Oh, and the shepherds are back from someplace Colorado. We don't get as much food, but we do miss them.

Benny, are you sure some of this joy doesn't have something to do with the location of the new round bale ?

Becca, you are such a cynic...

There IS a new round bale full of alfalfa just a short walk from the napping grounds, but the Crone Shepherd only let us bury our heads in it twice. Then a fence went up and we have to pull out what we eat. She was muttering something about fleeces full of hay and herd of pigs. Whateeeever !
It was pure love for a day or so.

People have been coming out to the pasture with tape measures and I think there may really be a new barn someday. I hope the Crone gets her camera in gear as they build my new palace. I wonder if it will have running water ?

Benny, automatic feeders are more your speed.

Becca, you are brilliant ! Can we tell the animal communicator that ?

Don't you have a list for her next time she checks in ?

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Now where did they go ???

Benny here, and if sheep could sweat, I'd be dripping. And breathing isn't easy either.....the smoke is awful. In fact, I can barely see far enough to find the bale of hay they hid two pastures away. Its a BIG bale, but its a long walk....

Benny - its that far away to keep you from eating the whole thing yourself...

Becca, why is everything they do designed to keep me from eating ?

Benny - when is the last time you saw your feet ?

So anyway, the shepherds packed up on some flimsy excuse and drove off in a cloud of smoke. Not an oil leak, either....they reportedly are somewhere where water falls out of the sky in the afternoons... Aunt Nora says its probably a helicopter with a bucket.... thnak Godde she feeds us.

I'd put up a picture for you, gentle reader, but you can't see far enough to take one. Ah, Scotland.....

Benny, with a non-smoker's cough

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Now smoky and hot

I want to go back home to Scotland - I KNOW that's where my spirit came from. Its 60 and drizzle instead of 97 again and still. What is with this weather ???

And, I have been forceably torn from my soul mate, Becca. She is pining away at the fence that separates us.

Benny, I am being an aunt to the babies while you are at weight loss camp.
Is that why there isn't any food over here ??
Didn't you notice, you Boob ? You are in the same pasture as Bob, who is limping from over weight; Corrie who looks like a rolled comforter on legs; and the two 120-150 lb "babies" who eat continually. Benny, you are in fat camp.
Becca, will I die ???
Not in the next 4 months, Big Guy......

Well, I DID wonder why we are in the front pasture with a few flakes of hay a day and dying grass. If Raven was here, he'd knock down fences to get us food, I just know it. Maybe that is why he and Buddy are still gone on "knapweed patrol".

This is all very complicated for a sheep to figure out, even a very special sheep. The shepherds seem so cheerful when they come out at night, pour about 6 pellets into pans for us, check the salt, fill the water, and put two more skinny flakes of hay in the feeder. But, Bob has stopped limping, so maybe a little of a good thing is all right. If I never post again, it will be from weakness and you'll know, beloved reader, that they starved me.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Hot !! REALLY hot !

Even if you have a very special fleece, when it is over 100 for a few days, special isn't so important.
And it is very hot. So what do the Shepherds do ? Another goat rope, of course.

At least the Animal Communicator got a hold of Bob the Genius before it happened. The Crone has promised that no one here goes away in a truck to die, but when trucks show up....well, we are sheep and suspect the worst. But the AC told us that Bevis and Butthead were going up the road a ways to eat weeds for a few weeks. What they didn't figure was that the horse trailer ( ?!) wouldn't come through the gate and they would have to haul both guys with horns across the pasture to the trailer. That was FUN ! They put up a great fight ! I can see where horns are handy for shepherds - they are sheep handles.

Since the front pasture had more green stuff than anywhere else combined, we have been grazing out there. Even as fat as Raven was, he couldn't make a dent. The Crone told the Big Guy - "I told you that pasture wasn't trashed - look at what fertilizer does for us - even a winter's worth of BIG ewe poops." We're lovin' it.

The Shepherds took off for a sheep show again, but thankfully came back without another sheep. There isn't ever too much food here, so its better to to come back with bright ideas than more rumens to fill. They are even talking a new barn - do I finally get me own private stall ? One without lamb poop to mess up my hooves and very special fleece ?

Stay tuned - this is Benny reporting from a very hot place in Western Montana ....what happened to all my lives in Scotland ??

Becca says - you got eaten, Dumbo.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Now I know What UNCLE means !

Benny here, and this Uncle stuff is more work than I thought. They all say Benny, you are such a wonderful Uncle....Benny you are so strong and patient....

Well, THAT should have have tipped me off...strong and patient, indeed. UNCLE MEANS BABYSITTER !!

So I hear the Crone Shepherd giggling the other morning....and running for her camera. But I don't want pictures of this, so I spring to my feet. Becca says Benny, you haven't sprung to your feet in 4 years - lumber to your feet, yes - the lambs spring, I spring, you struggle.

The Crone comes back and says Rats - he moved, but I know what she wanted - she wanted evidence of me babysitting .

Benny, you are so strong and patient......

The whole herd gets up in the morning and since THEY have cut our rations with no food in the morning, we have to go forage for whatever we can find.

Benny, it is spring and there is grass everywhere.... Becca, pellets are much more easily digested for those of us with special fleeces.

After I go out and eat, with lambs bouncing everywhere, the herd looks at me and I go lie down to chew my food more thoroughly and they plunk a couple of lambs next me. Then they go back to the pasture. The Crone came out this morning and laughed, and went back in for her camera. Why is it that everyone wants to put a picture of Uncle Benny babysitting on the frig ?? I got up and went to the pasture where the Moms were and after a few minutes the babies followed ME. Fortunately, they spotted their Mom and no further embarassment ensued.

Because I don't have a digital camera, the Crone sneaks pictures into my blog. If a picture of me babysitting shows up, its a fake ! I am a dignified sheep with special fleece and the babies will certainly appreciate my wisdom as they mature. I am NOT a babysitter.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

This Uncle stuff is WORK !!

Well, the work was in watching the next set of nephews being born. First Amy, their Mom, spends the whole day wandering back and forth in the pasture, away from all of us. I want to go help, but Bob says no, that's the way it is with moms. Suddennly, in the late afternoon, she starts walking and then running, dragging something behind her (not a baby) and baaing and won't stop. We are sheep, so we join her, and the shepherds try to get her to stop.

I don't think we were much help, because when one sheep yells and runs, we all do....its a sheep thing. The shepherds finally got us all in the back yard, caught Amy, laid her down and shooed the rest of us out. That's when the work started - we grazed, and paced, and listened. The Big Guy held her head and calmed her down and the Crone went to work trying to figure out what was going on. Amy was so tired that she just laid there. The we heard the Crone say " I see 2 feet and a nose - Alleluia" and she did something she calls scrubbing. Then is was kind of scary quiet with Amy grunting, the Big Guy talking softly, and the Crone working hard. She said "he isn't breathing well yet" and then there was a lot of other stuff going on...then we heard a cough. Pretty soon the little guy was up by his Mom's head and the Big Guy lifted her head so she could lick him off. But that took a long time cause she kept having to rest. Then the Crone says " Thank Godde ! another nose and 2 feet !"

Becca - don't we all have a nose and two feet on the front ? Becca sighs - yes, Benny, but not all lambs come out that way and its trouble. Oh.

Then the Crone scrubs again and pretty soon there is another little guy hanging upside down while she rubs him. Then a little cough, and then everyone is breathing ! I thought I was going to faint from the stress.

So then he goes up by his Mom and the Big Guy lifts her head. Amy is cleaning them off and the first one gets up and strikes out on his own. He's only 20 minutes old !!

The clean up starts, and the Crone takes the babies into the grass area they call the jug. Becca - why do they call it the jug ? Don't know Benny, but we were both born in one.
Then she goes back and helps Amy to her feet, but Amy is pretty confused. Her babies call and she heads toward them and the fence closes.

The shepherds and the Grandma, who got to watch it all, sit down and watch for a while as the babies get up and around and Amy cleans them up some more.

Becca - shouldn't they eat ? Who will show them ? Eating is IMPORTANT !! Benny, just relax - the shepherds will help if needed.

She is such a know it all, but she was right. The Crone helped the little guys find their food and their tails just went nuts !!

Benny - your tail does that sometimes when the pellets arrive. Does not. Does can't see your middle, let alone your tail.

There is a pretty big mess all over - blood and goop - and Amy is trying to clean it up, but she is very tired. Then the biggest raven I have ever seen swoops down, and starts to help clean up. Amy protects her babies and the raven does a pretty good job. This was one BIG bird.

Later the shepherds came out and gave Amy a shot - she was too beat to notice - and poured something on the lamb tummies. And that was that.

I am exhausted - I hope we are done with this - my heart can only take so much ...

Benny, your heart could take more if you weren't so fat. And you know that really big ewe with attitude ? The one who pushes you out of the food bowl ? She is next...

I need a break - I am a delicate guy ...

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Recognition of Leadership

One of my admirers - a Jack Russell named Mouse - has written to say that her true talent has at last been recognized. The neighborhood dog shrink evaluated her pack and said that she actually was the Leader of the Pack.

I am so envious - true talent is so seldom recognized, and it is just now that my diplomatic skills are being touted. Becca says - what exactly is the difference between dippy and diplomatic in your case, Benjo ?

However, I would like to advise Mouse not to underestimate the power of the one she calls the Feeder. That is similar, I believe, to our Shepherd, and you don't want to offend those who come bearing food. It can take a nasty turn, I'm afraid...

So, Congratulations, Mouse ! I know you will rule wisely, especially on a full tummy !

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Babies !!! I'm an uncle !!

Last weekend, the shepherds did a goat rope (moving sheep around) and I don't know why they call it that because there isn't a goat living here. They took Butthead's girls away from him because they were getting really fat and slow - the girls I mean - the shepherds are a whole different matter - food in Scotland must have been good. And then they put the girls with us and Bevis (Buddy) back in with Butthead. The girls are standing together and the big one is glaring at us, so Bob says - "Benny, go make friends." I suppose I am the best choice because I am a very special sheep, but she didn't look friendly. So I amble (Becca says waddle) over to sniff and greet. The shepherds look and point and say "Four big sheep ? Oh, Benny has gone over to break the ice..."

Well, they pulled this off barely in time. The next night the Shepherd Crone is shuffling around in the middle of the night looking at the girls, then the sheep midwife shows up at 0400 and checks them out. The next afternoon, the Crone goes down for her nap after checking again, and the midwife shows up at 1300, pulls out her little box and says grab the lambing bucket and get out here. The Crone shows up 5 minutes later with a bucket, they take the first little guy into the place they call the lambing jug and his Mom follows. All is in good hands, because the other 2 preggers ewes start to graze. Funny thing, though, Butthead goes out to his ram toy and starts beating his head on it. Wonder if they let people Dad's do that ?

So I am an uncle and we are all very excited. The babies got to come out today with their Mom and she doesn't let any sheep get very close. But she'll get used to us or they'll send me back to be the diplomat. I am SO good at this stuff....

Thursday, May 3, 2007

WiFi fixed again !

So, the shepherds take off for Scotland and the WiFi connection lasted two weeks. What is it with IT in this place ??? The house sitter is very nice, the food keeps arriving, but no one can fix the "system?"

So they get back, the system is up, and while I'm cleaning lamb poop out of my hooves to get to work, they come out and start cleaning the barn, chicken house and ram/ewe shed. Shooed out of my office ( such as it is), I have to wait in the rain whilst this all gets done. Fresh clean straw appears and it smells so nice ! Then we get to watch the entertainment as they clean the ram shed and Butthead herds his girls around, occasionally taking a run at the shepherds. He gets a faceful of vinegar from a spray bottle and backs off, only to try again. Dummy - he really can catch the Big Guy unawares now and again, but when they are working together, he hasn't a prayer. Besides - whats the point - he hurts someone and no one is around to deliver food...ACK !! What IS he thinking ??? Bob ! Becca !! Talk to him !!! This is Serious !!!!

Becca groans - Dummy, what happened while they were gone ? A wonderful variety of people showed up to feed. The shepherds have us covered by incredible neighbors....not like you could starve in a week or two. Or three.

So they are back and they didn't bring any strange sheep with them. Like the Scottish Blackface above. Bob is muttering something like "stranger than what, Benny ? you ? not likely..."

A prophet in his own country is never appreciated....

Sunday, April 15, 2007

International fan Club !!

I told Becca I would be famous ! Three members of the Jack Russell family have read and commented on my surprise, of course, as I am a verry special sheep.

Becca laughs - your admirers are feisty little dogs, wool brains.....they are Terriers ! And they are covering our shepherd's lap with little feet and licking her face....what if they keep her ?

WhatEVER ! They are in another part of the world and they read my blog...I will yet be known ! It is my destiny....

Thursday, April 5, 2007

They are WHERE ???

Imagine my shock when opening my fan mail this morning and seeing that the shepherds are in.....Scotland ??? They COULDN'T be on a sheep buying trip - there is barely enough food to go around as it is. I did notice that the daily meager rations were coming from the sainted housesitter. But isn't Scotland very far away ???

Becca says "Benny - you thinking the next pasture is too far away because you have to walk for food." Not so...I just know that I am never the first out the door to the grass because you could wind up with hoof prints from the twins up your back if you rush.

Further more, the Shepherdess notes that Edinburgh is singularly short on yarn shops. Don't these people knit ?? She has been muttering about opening a yarn shop someday, but she says that there are more yarns shops in the Missoula and Bitterroot valleys than in Edinburgh. Can she open a yarn shop in Scotland ? I know she will never move away from me, so I think its safe. I hope she doesn't get any bright ideas...

We survived another shearing last week, but as always, it was close thing. I went last - something she won't let me do again. The shearer, or torturer, as we call him, was a bright young sturdy lad who seems to like sheep and wool in general. But he groaned like an old guy while trying to get me sheared. Kept saying things like "Benny, you are a BIG boy." Becca snickered and said, well, out of a condition range of 1-5, Benny is a 6. I don't think she meant that as a compliment.

As I waited to be tortured, stuck with needles, given a mouthful of icky stuff, I heard the shearer say - wait a minute. And he sat down to clean his clippers. I guess that one of the twins - Danny, with the 9 inch hoggit fleece had totally clogged his shears with grease. I need to watch that little poop - his fleece is getting a lot of admiration and the King of Fleece here is moi !

Thursday, March 29, 2007

They mock me !

It is spring and everything itches...well, everything on me at least. So a few days ago I find a handy solution to all this and the Mom Shepherd almost expires with amusement....I tell you respect.

Buddy is standing, looking spooky as usual, but he doe seem to have calmed down quite a bit living with us instead of Butthead. With Butthead you have to watch your back all the time.....anyway, I digress. Buddy with his half curl of horn is standing there chewing his cud and I think "that pointy horn tip looks like a solution to me !" I amble up (Becca says I roll up) and say "stand real still, there, Bud" and rub my ear on his left horn tip. That feels soooo good that I get him to stand there while I get most of the right side of my head scratched. Then I hear the Mom Shepherd having hysterics on the back deck watching me. I thought it was rather clever of me, but she thinks it is very funny. She should be carrying 14 lb of greasy itchy fleece around in the spring sun.

I guess she has noticed my discomfort, however. The barn got straigthened up today, the temporary plywood floor for shearing was dragged out and I think this itchy stuff is coming off soon. I wonder if that is what she is referring to as a "goat rope". I DO NOT see any smelly old goats around here.

Monday, March 5, 2007


Not that food is important to me - well, OK - in a world of eat and nap, food is crucial. So I hear the Shepherds talking about no more hay. NO MORE HAY ???? Becca says, put your head between your front legs, Benny, and breathe deeply. My life flashed before my eyes - the threat of starvation when they took my Mom to another pasture (and stuck me with Becca and the other howling lambs), the day the feeder ran out of hay for 2 hours.....

What they meant was that the valley is pretty much out of hay fit for sheep this spring. And the backup is alfalfa pellets. Why do they torture me like this ? I LOVE alfalfa pellets. Becca says of course you do, Chunko - that means your entire meal is in a pan in front of you and you don't have to walk. Whatever.....

So the pellets show up twice a day, in 4 pans for 7 sheep and no one seems to get into my pan. Well, occasionally the twins butt in, and I just put a shoulder into them and they go eat with their Mom. Then there is the fiber question...what if my delicate constitution needs roughage ? Becca again - there is straw all over the place - the rest of us are munching straw for fiber. She is such a know it all.....but the straw seems to work just fine. I HATE these life transitions. I know I know - the next one is green grass - I can probably ease into that even thought it requires me to walk for it.

So the shepherd tells me that I am once again a very special sheep. It seems that my clean ivory fleece is so springy that the processing mill can't spin it. I KNEW my wool was for very discerning users. The Mom Shepherd says "yeah, Benny - very discerning - and of limited use if I have to sell it all to hand spinners." Don't hand spinners slowly feel and appreciate fine wool ? Aren't I a very unique sheep ????

I heard the Big Guy Shepherd refer to the pellets as sheep grapenuts....wonder what that is about...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Not very bright

That is what Becca says when I ask some questions, but it is not hard to argue that I am a genius compared to a couple of the girls.

Corrie the beautiful has a sweet loving disposition if you listen to the shepherds. Sweet Corrie. Check out the picture from last spring - It is entitled "weaning is easy if the lambs can't find me". Yup that's our girl.

It appears to be an hereditary trait because her daughter, Daphne the cute, is just as much of a brain trust as her Mother. She got her head caught in a fence 3 TIMES in 2 days last week. Same scenario each time, same results. She shoves narrow BFL head through fence hole to get at grass at the base of the tree the fence is protecting. Pulls back head, ears get stuck. Stands there and complains, Chief Bob ambles out, takes a look at her, sighs, and goes to stand staring at the house. One of the shepherds looks out and says, "Honey, I think Daphne has done it again." Big Guy Shepherd hustles out, speaks soothingly to trapped ditz, frees her, she gets loved up a little, fence gets straightened out. Wait 12 hours, repeat.

Now, if Becca is so damned smart, and since she is the Queen (Drama also) of the back flock, do you suppose she could explain to fleece head how to avoid getting trapped. Yes ? Do I see a volunteer ??

And they say I'm no Tesla....

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Times they are a changin'

Now, I do not claim to know why this song is being sung in the barn, but being a VERY wise sheep, I asked Bob and Becca. They looked at each other and Becca said, "Benjamin, who is out here all the time these days ? Hauling hay, water and cleaning the stall ?" I am a very observant fellow and I said "the Big Guy ! " So then she tells me that the Big Guy is living here again instead of in something called airports. And that the Shepherd is very happy because she missed the Big Guy - well, and because she can't lift full bales or 40 lb. water buckets.

Huh - how does she know all this stuff ??? She says, "Benny - if there was a Maslow's hierarchy for sheep, you would be munching at the first level." Now I'm really confused, but my tummy is full because the Big Guy brought a full bale out to the feeder and he was humming something.

So I ask, "anything else I should know, smarty pants? " Becca says, "well, Grasshopper, today is the Feast of St. Brighid, and since we were sheep in Scotland a long time ago, it is an important day. She is patron of many human activities. " This is getting way beyond me now, so I delicately lie down (Becca says I crash to the earth) and start my nap. Becca rolls out the door (she is no lightweight herself) and goes out to bore the twins with her great knowledge.

Life is good; the Big Guy is home and my tummy is full and it is good to be a sheep with spectacular wool.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Scary things

One of my admirers has written asking about what to do with scary things. Unfortunately, she addressed the question to Buddy. Sigh - well, what Buddy does with scary things in his pasture is to lower his pointy little head and attack. The Shepherd and the Big Guy once had to rescue a pretty roughed up big black hen that Buddy has used as a soccer ball, on the theory that she was a danger.

So, as a much wiser sheep than Buddy, I - Benny, would say the first thing to do is to not imitate Buddy. Don't attack - many scary things go away (or just fly over the fence) of their own accord.

Secondly, eat. Many things look much better on a full tummy. Becca says that my world knows no fear evidently because my tummy is ALWAYS full. Rubbish. But fear of starving clearly makes everything look worse.

Third, nap. When you wake up, some of the scary things will be gone, or much smaller. If all else fails, walk up to them (or send Becca) and see what they are really close up.

I would elaborate on this topic, but the Big Guy, in his new Carharrts, has just appeared with a fresh bale of hay. Nothing scary about this !!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

What IS that thing ??

The picture tells it all, folks. The Big Guy comes out on Jan 5th and tosses something big, green and scary over the fence into OUR space. Sure - it is dangerous - throw it to the sheep. We spot it immediately - well, after eating - and look it over for a long time. You can't be too careful - the people in the Big House don't have a clue.

After regarding it for sometime - note that Corrie the Muncher is in the front, and I am bravely defending the rear flank along with Bob - we thought it over as it began to rain and blow . Don't even get me started on the climate - its is winter and we are in Montana - rain ??? Then we went back into the barn to think it over for a day.

Becca, the brain trust, mulled it over for a bit and said - I think this happened last year, too. And we didn't die. So, she put her head down and stalked it and it didn't move. Next thing we know, she is eating it.

As we are gathered around this pretty pungent snack, someone says, I don't think we are supposed to eat this if we are pregnant. Becca says, talking with her mouth full, to get pregnant, you have to be cooped up with Butthead. Buddy panics. He spends 6 months out of the year at least with Butthead...companion wether they call him. Becca, he chokes - what if I am pregnant ?? Becca fixes him with her "that's the dumbest thing I've heard since the last time Benny spoke" look and says YOU ARE A GUY SHEEP ! You can't get pregnant.

Oh. Well, at least I knew that all along.

The shepherd say we need a patron saint, or at least SHE needs a patron saint. She is thinking about St. Panacea who was a shepherdess and beaten to death by her step mother with a spindle. I think it fits - clearly she has been hit on the head too many times by something.

Tomorrow - picking seed head out my my velvety soft muzzle - where do they get this hay, anyway ??

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

WiFi is back !

Benny here, at last. I don't know what my IT people are doing in the Big House, but it certainly wasn't getting me back online. We have a communication problem here, people !! I went to the fence and called (they say I bellow like a 600 lb. steer) and they come out, pet me, check the feeder and the water and the salt and then say "now, now Benny - everything is just fine" and go back in a open presents or watch football. Help !!! My WiFi connection is DOWN !!! And they think all I worry about is food....peasants - they are all peasants.

So, after 2 weeks, I have to clean the lamb poop out of my hooves before I dare get on the keyboard. Training them has been hopeless. The rules are - we all pee in the middle of the barn and poop outside, or if you must, where YOU sleep. Not where Benny sleeps. Hopeless - and then there is Becca, who seems to get down right weird about every 20 days or so. At least in the winter. She is such a know-it-all most of the time, but every once in a while, like a cycle, she gets very goofy. This week, she was fleeing the barn everytime the Big Guy comes out. What ?? He got new Carharrts for Christmas - this makes him a stranger ???

Becca - get a grip ! He is carrying FOOD !

The Big House people went away for 4 days and we had a nice sub. She poured pellets, checked water, crooned sounds sheep like to hear, fed Butthead and the girls. She hasn't quite got the "scratch Benny's chest first before all else" thing down yet, but she is trainable. Good thing, too, because we have seen very little of the shepherd since the Big Guy got home. What can she be doing that is more important than feeding and rubbing sheep, I ask ?

They say its a new year, and things will change. I guess the Big Guy is retiring ? Didn't he do that 4 years ago and did I see any improvement in my life ??? Maybe the new overalls mean he will live here now. He does seem to be a bit more relaxed, and I get my chest rubbed longer in the evening, so this could be an improvement. Heaven knows the management on the place could use some spiffying up....

Happy New Year - may your hay have more leaves than stems, may your orchards overflow with windfall for sheep, and may your lambs grow up with good manners !!